I Hate Myself for Loving You

I am in a very unhealthy and one sided relationship.
It's a Love/Hate relationship with my house.

Most of the time I like my house. I Like the fact that it's so close to work, I like that fact that I have a fenced yard for my dog to play in.
It's not big but big enough for me and the puppy with a little extra space if I have someone in for a visit.
But....sometimes I feel like I'm living out the movie Money Pit....


I DON'T LIKE when things start to break or need to be replaced. I am NOT handy. I HATE Home Depot and Lowes! Really! I feel stupid when I walk in there.
It always seems like every thing falls apart at the same time. I have about 10 different kinds of light bulbs it seems. Everytime I need to replace one it seems I get the wrong one. HA!
When my kitchen disposal quit working it was a very sore subject. Grrrr.
My air conditioner stops cooling each summer cause it has a very slow leak so I have to get that serviced. Ugh!
When my toilet handle broke off recently, I almost had a panic attack thinking that I didn't even know where to begin!
Needless to say I'm a very girly girl when it comes to fixing things around the house (I don't even mow my own grass, in fact.... NEVER mowed a lawn in my life!).
It's sometimes tough being a single gal and having to deal with that stuff instead of passing it on to your signifcant other.

To my other single gal friends that have homes to deal with let me salute you! The next time you have issues with your house you can do what I do, close the door to that room and have some wine!

From Selfish to Selfless

For a long time I've felt "ENTITLED".
I thought since I work REALLY hard each day I should be able to do whatever I want, kind of as a Reward for myself. I should be able to go anywhere I want for as long as I want, eat what I want and as MUCH as I want, do things I want to do and not stay home and do the things that need to be done. I have no one to answer to so why not. I DESERVE it!
But....what has eating whatever gotten me? Fat! UGH! Working out is a HUGE Sacrifice for me. I hate it but know it needs to be done.

This past year, I started working with some disabled people at the Exceptional Foundation (through the Junior League).
 
I have had to sacrifice some to do this. I've had to go to meetings, take time to plan things and sacrifice going out with friends on occasion because I was scheduled to be there.
There are many nights I really don't feel like going. I'm tired from work and it's really the last place I want to be. BUT...once I get there, it's a totally different story!! I LOVE the people there. They are so Wonderful! I always feel extremely blessed when leaving there. My heart and soul feel REFRESHED!

Also last year, I started helping with 5th and 6th grade Sunday School at church. Some mornings it is a real sacrifice to have to get up and go on a Sunday morning but it's worth it once I get there.

Recently I was ask if I'd like to help out with some of my same kids on Wednesday nights. I really wasn't sure. I had kind of wanted to maybe start meeting with another group at church that night but knew I really wouldn't have to sacrifice much and could skip days I didn't really feel like it.
I prayed about it and really felt like helping those kids on Wednesday nights was right for me.
I said "Yes, I'll help out." A few days later I received the lesson plan and the "virtue" that I'd be teaching....
"Self Control - Choosing to do what you SHOULD do, not what you WANT to do"
WOW! This spoke VOLUMES to me that I had made the right decision!
This is something I struggle with!
God really does work in mysterious ways!

I think God does want us to be happy, he wants us to enjoy life. But I realize if I make small sacrifices, He will bless me even more than I could EVER IMAGINE!

So tonight's the night, the start of my Wednesday night Journey.
Wish me Luck!

The First Cut is the Deepest

I am always sad to hear when people I know have cut people out of their lives.

I know people who "unfriend" people over such petty things and will never speak to them again. I know people that no longer have relationships with family members over simple arguments or disagreements.

We have all done it. I've done it. It was childish, it was stupid. Luckily I have since made ammends (or at least I put an olive branch out there).

In my opinion people do it way to often. I really think we should think long and hard before going to such an extreme with our family or friends. I've learned that there are only a couple of reasons that you should cut someone out of your life. For instance, if that person is abusing you in any way. 

I am glad that God has never decided to cut me out because I have hurt him so much or becuase I have disagreed with him or not listened to the things he was telling me.

God puts people into our lives for a reason. I encourage you to make peace with the people that you have cut out of your lives. I've learned that it is tougher to live life with regret than to eat a little humble pie.

Vacation - All I Ever Wanted

So this week I booked my trip to Disney World with my sister and nephew, Will.
Now that it's finally booked I am SUPER Excited!
We are going for a spring break trip but mainly because my other nephew, Adam, is marching in the Disney World parade with his high school band. I haven't been to Disney World since I went with my high school marching band. Pretty cool huh?

I am working on another big trip for later in the year, a cruise with several friends.
I have never been on a cruise and I am kinda nervous about it.
First off I am a little worried about getting sea sick. Of course this is slightly less a worry for me since last year I went deep sea fishing and I was fine. But the cruise is 7 days, not 3 hours. Isn't everyone worried about being sea sick before their first cruise?
Secondly, I've seen tons of stories on news programs like Dateline and 48 hours where people go on a cruise together but one of them disappears! Ah!
Thirdly, this is the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking! People I tell this to laugh and say "but the ships they make now are so safe and are basically unsinkable" to which I say "That's just what they said about the Titanic!"
I was just talking to some friends about my "fears" at dinner Friday night, half way joking of course.
Then Saturday morning I got up and saw on the news that an Italian cruise ship had ACTUALLY wrecked and sank. People where hurt and some died! This did nothing to help me. So CRAZY that I was JUST talking about this!
Luckily the stories I have seen this weekend have included reasons why this probably couldn't happen on an American cruise line.
So I'm still planing on going in October and hopefully between now and then I won't hear of any other cruise mishaps. Bon Voyage!

He Never Let Go

Last year I made a concerted effort to go back to church and get involved.
Let me just say that I have been a Christian since I was 14. I grew up in a Godly home where we went to church. I have studied the bible, done devotionals and prayed since I was a kid. Some how during my stint at college I quit going to church. I had my WILD time away from my parents and didn't have time for church. I still prayed, I still believed, I just didn't go.
I thought I could do it on my own.

Last year I started attending High Point Church on a regular basis. I didn't realize until I went back how much I had been missing out on. I LOVE the way they TEACH me instead of PREACH AT ME. I learn something I can use in my life each and ever time I go. I think I have become a better person and I hope people notice the change. I know that GOD LOVES ME SO MUCH that even though I pushed him away, he NEVER let go of me!

Now I'm helping to teach 5th and 6th grade Sunday School and it has brought me SO MUCH JOY!
The kids in my class are so smart, funny, energetic and loving! They teach me as much or more than I teach them. I am continually BLESSED thru my Sunday School class and my church as a whole!

I'm not perfect and I never will be, but God LOVES me anyway!
I am so THANKFUL that I found the right fit for me to go and feel His LOVE each week!

You are an Obsession, you're MY Obsession

I LOVE this face! 
I love his short legs, I love his velvety black fur. 


Maybe my attachment to my dog is strange to some but I don't care. He is my baby.

Guss is the sweetest dog. He loves me SO MUCH! He is always excited to see me when I come home no matter if I've just seen him an hour ago or he's been couped up all day.
He always listens to my problems and he never judges me.
He loves when I grab him and hug and kiss on him.

He protects the house and HIS yard, even though he is scared to go outside at night by himself (it's dark out there!).
He snuggles with me at night. Everything he does is cute. I don't even mind his snoring at night.






We went out of town for Christmas and he stared at me the ENTIRE way.

It would get me tickled when I'd look over after driving a while and he was still looking at me. HA! Maybe he liked my singing?

Recently Guss lost his "brother" Dexter and we have both had to deal with that, but we have had each other.
I have been kicking around the idea of getting another puppy but not sure that Guss would share me with another at this point.
For now it's just the two of us and he's just as obsessed with me. :0)

The Promise of a New Year

First off, I've been wanting to start a blog for a long time soooooo here goes nothing!
Please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors as I'm more of a MATH kinda gal.

I LOVE the new year! It always seems like a fresh start to me.
It's gives this year the chance to be the BEST yet, it gives us all a chance to be our best self.
It's in that spirit that we make resolutions. I think because it's easy to start something when you have a clean slate and haven't had a chance to mess anything up yet.

I have made a few resolutions this year:
1.  Get in shape/lose weight
2.  Get organized

I hear the fewer resolutions you make the more likely you are to keep them.
As of today I am on day two of my yearly New Year's Diet. (so far, so good) I have decided that I am just going to eat more healthy and learn a little thing called PORTION CONTROL.(I may have to look this up in the dictionary since I obviously have NO IDEA what that phrase means! HA!)
 I am also going to do some sort of exercise each day (another thing I have slacked on in recent years). I am planning to go to Disney World in the spring and would like to be able to walk around all day without getting too tired and my feet killing me. This is the first goal. My second goal is to get bathing suit ready by October when I may be going on a cruise with friends. WHEW! What an incentive!!
As far as getting organized, I started on this a few weeks before Christmas when I cleaned out a few closets and purged some old clothes. I still have a few closets to go through, but after those I'd like to reorganize my kitchen and computer room. "Operation Declutter" sounds easier than it actually is, especially when you are busy and hardly ever home. But, I am determined to do this!
Wish me Luck!
Now I just have to start with taking down my Christmas decorations! (Don't judge)